The Colonel's Delight
Named after the single most barbaric individual to ever live, by chicken standards, The Colonel's Delight is a veritable medley of assorted parts of dead hens.
Did you ever wonder why the Colonel hated chickens so much? Personally, I have a theory that one day he came home and found his wife in bed with the farm's prize rooster. The shame drove him to genocidal madness, though chicken kind has never forgotten this small victory over humanity.
Their rallying cry - "Cuck-a-doodle-doo" still taunts the Colonel to this very day.
Pictured here is The Colonel's Delight - bawk~!
Day Four - Michael
Demeanor -- Jerk sauce-like: "Very familiar with the dry rub", he continually reminds me
Feelings about the Olive Garden -- "It's an extremely romantic place for a date~"
Gender identity/sexual orientation -- Decidedly male, decidedly straight
Snapshot:
"Are you looking at your phone again? That's no way to treat your daaaate~" Michael says. I can hear the tilde in his voice.
"It's not a date!" I snap back.
"Then explain all these candles~!"
"I still can't believe they let you bring those in."
--
Michael is my stupid jerk roommate who was my last option for a date after I had two consecutive cancellations for tonight. Remember, people: every time you cancel a date, someone has to go out with their roommate.
45 more actual dates to go.
Todays pastas were
Tri-athlon
Bi-athlon
Tri-athlon
This pasta is an olympic event in itself. Extremely heavy sauce combined with a pound of rotini and breaded topping means you will likely not feel up to a second pasta for the night, unless you're a professional. Since this is a suboptimal use of your neverending pasta bowl, try to order it as your last dish and take it home with you. It's good to have a project.
Pictured here is Tri-athlon, which I'm pretty sure doesn't need a hyphen.
Bi-athlon
Michael ordered this and named it himself, then kept kicking my feet under the table in what I can only assume was a flirtatious manner as I ate it. Ugh.
Pictured here is Bi-athlon, and even typing that out annoys me.
Day Three - Rebecca
Demeanor -- Ragù-like: subtle characteristics that are easy to miss; possibly underappreciated
Feelings about the Olive Garden -- "I...hmm. I guess I have no strong feelings about it."
Favorite assassin -- Charles J. Guiteau
Snapshot:
"You know, fettucine alfredo was originally sold as a bland, flavorless dietary aid," she says, moving hers around her plate disinterestedly.
--
One of the best parts of this project is meeting people I would normally never come into contact with, like Rebecca. She's a 6th-grade teacher who effortlessly switches from insightful commentary on our education system to analyses of musical stage productions.
46 more dates to go.
.
Today's pasta was
Layoffs At The Mine
Layoffs At The Mine
Chicken pomodoro, the second of the three new sauces, is remarkably similar to a dish my father specialized in during the lean times of my youth. Chicken, being a cheaper meat than beef, was a substitute in many meals, though we did not have the knowledge or technology to transform the leg quarters into meatballs. So we simply shredded the meat as best we could and mixed it in with a jar of Prego, which might be exactly what this is.
Pictured here is Layoffs At The Mine - don't blame the foreman, he did all he could.
Day Two - Neslie
Demeanor -- Alfredo-like: mild, yet rife with hidden nuances
Feelings about the Olive Garden -- "It reminds me of my friend. He likes it a lot because it's a chain."
Named after the world's largest evil food conglomerate? -- Undetermined
Snapshot:
"I couldn't pick a favorite dog. That'd be like picking a favorite child."
--
Neslie is a warm, affable woman who is clearly capable of a great amount of care and love. Hearing her talk about her family and the people who are most important to her reminds one that there's more to life than serial dating and pasta. On that note...
47 more dates to go.
Today's pasta was
Wario's Revenge
Wario's Revenge
This pasta features one of the three new sauces this year, Asiago Garlic Alfredo, which features a handful of full cloves of garlic. Predictably, consuming any of these (or all of them, as I foolishly did) soon coats one's entire body with a thin, oilly film that renders one completely immune to mosquitos and friends alike for days afterward.
Pictured here is Wario's Revenge - Wah!
Day One - Katrina
Demeanor -- Marinara-like: spicy, saucy
Feelings about the Olive Garden -- "It's, uh...it's okay!"
Belief as to whether the United States should get further involved in the Israel-Palestine Conflict -- Did not come up
Snapshot:
She straightens out her dress, then smiles wryly. "You really ate that fast."
I nod and say nothing for a while, because my mouth is entirely full of chicken. "Mm. S'been a while."
--
From the start of the evening, the waitress likes her more than me, which is understandable. Katrina is the type of person who is immediately likeable. I had some reservations about this year's blog; what kind of people would I meet? Could I really share any values with people from a state so different than where I was raised? How awful is that gluten-free rotini going to be, anyway?
Katrina allayed all my fears in one perfectly enjoyable evening. I look forward to seeing her again one day.
Until then, though, there are 48 more dates.
Today's pasta was
Sequel
Sequel
Like any sequel, this pasta has a lot of expectations to meet. It has to be familiar, yet different enough to justify its existence. Allow me to put your fears to rest: the chicken meatball is a fine topping worthy of your attention. The lower calorie count (210 versus 270 for the cow-based meatball) also helps!
Pictured here is Sequel - we're back, baby!
Day Zero
Tomorrow begins my quest for pasta! I'm very excited. To celebrate, here's the new site, which lays out the new angle I'm going for with this year's blog.
If you or someone you know would be interested in going to Olive Garden with me, just fill out the form!
Day Negative 5
The game is afoot.
Stay tuned....