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A Big Bowl of Cheese Puffs

A Big Bowl of Cheese Puffs
Italian Sausage glazed with Five Cheese Marinara, perfectly swaddled in a fistful of Rigatoni

A satisfying thing to munch on absentmindedly, but not what most would call fine dining. Apparently, you can get halfway through this dish without even realizing you were eating!

Day One - Leslie


Greatest Strength -- Much like a homing pigeon with a part time job, Leslie can always find the most direct route to a Target from an arbitrary starting point.
Weakest Weakness -- Sales on spooky halloween pajamas
Feelings about the Olive Garden -- "I don't know. I'm not picky. If somebody wanted to go here, I'd go."
Snapshot: "I'll take the breadsticks," I offer graciously, placing them in my bag before Leslie has a chance to ask for one. "I can give them to my cowor-"
Her demeanor changes before I can even finish my sentence. "DID YOU SAY CORGIS??"
"N...no. Coworkers."
"Ahh.....I love corgis, though."
Creative Challenge -- "Draw a Pikachu from memory."


(The marinara stains are my own. I apologize deeply for my desecration of this art, and I pray that the audience will not hold the damage against Leslie when determining this year's victor)


Leslie is a college student studying geography, and she was a very good sport about my pointed questions about the career options of a field that has been obsolesced by the existence of the humble GPS. My smugness evaporated, however, when both of our phones died simultaneously, and the waiter asked us what the capital of Turkey was, and what was the difference between a basin and a plain.

Vino's Vegan Victual:

Leslie's Lunch:
Creamy Mushroom Sauce

49 dates to go! Thank you for dining with me, Leslie! You were great!

Creamy Mushroom Sauce

Creamy Mushroom Sauce
Fettuccine pumped chock-full of Grilled Chicken, sauced with Creamy Mushroom

Olive Garden's sole new offering this year for the Never Ending Pasta Bowl is this creamy mushroom sauce, creatively named Creamy Mushroom Sauce. My dates who have tried it describe it as a "creamy sauce, with mushrooms in it".

I kind of miss being able to actually eat the food I'm reviewing. I feel like it'd be much easier.


Marinara put upon a blanket of Spaghetti

This pasta review is currently under construction. Sorry for the delay, I promise it will be worth the wait.

Special Edition Bonus Content


Welcome to All of Garden! If you're visiting for the first time, click here.

With our recent sordid (part one) business (part two) concluded, it's time for a fun treat!

There was a lot of media coverage of the trademark adventure, and, as expected, the comments sections were abuzz with some great content. After stripping out the standard racist invective, anti-Olive Garden hate speech, etc, I collected my favorite limericks therein.

I have reprinted them all here without permission (naturally, I now consider myself above all intellectual property laws*) and immortalized each with a unique, never-before-posted Never Ending Pasta Bowl combination. Congratulations to these fine writers!

If and when the Never Ending Pasta Bowl returns in 2017, expect to see another 7 weeks of pasta adventures here. Until then, follow me on twitter @AllOfGarden for any and all updates. :)

*For real, if you see your limerick here and want me to take it down just email me and I will comply post-haste.


Pappardelle blended with Grilled Chicken, saturated in Meat Sauce

We appreciate your response to our letter,
You seem like quite a go-getter
Use our marks if you must
Your reviews now seem just
And we're glad our Alfredo is better


Pappardelle smothered in Alfredo, combined with Grilled Chicken

Oh Vino, don't know what came over me
I wrote with such haste I just couldn't see
That to eat at our joint
Is kind of the point
Of your whole blog and your joie de vivre


Italian Sausage tossed with Five Cheese Marinara, sensuously fused with Pappardelle

Please accept Branden’s retraction
For you’ve committed no real infraction,
Our legal teams cross
‘Cause they’re lost in the sauce,
This was all just an over-reaction


Pappardelle balanced with Chicken Fritta, mixed with Five Cheese Marinara

That e-mail seems fairly obtuse
It doesn't consider fair use
When I eat Olive Garden
My arteries harden
I'd rather eat plain boiled goose

Samkass Wise

Samkass Wise
Grilled Chicken expertly smothered in Asiago Garlic Alfredo, lovingly hidden in a hill of Gluten Free Rotini

The family of Forcements agrees
With your assessment of sauces and cheese
But the law is like Kafka
Not infinite pasta
And trademarks are all Branden sees

So take care with our company name
It’s use is not purely fair game
But if you are not blatant
And attach disclaimer statements
We lawyers shall not make a claim

Dean Alterman

Dean Alterman
Marinara sheltered within a lump of Fettuccine, nigh-erotically embedded with Grilled Chicken

We’re sorry we got hot and sweaty,
Your blog throws us praise like confetti.
Your use of our name
Will add to our fame
So continue to laud our spaghetti.

Pasta Combination Selector