The Pastas

11/50

11/50
Marinara set upon a lump of Spaghetti
Comments

This pasta review is currently under construction. Sorry for the delay, I promise it will be worth the wait.

Meat Blanket

Meat Blanket
Fettuccine drowning in Meat Sauce
Comments

Nominated for second-most unsettling two-word combination (after "puppy enema") this is actually a filling combination with a good balance of macronutrients. Solid option! Try not to think about puppy enemas while eating, btw.

10/50

10/50
Marinara swathed in a mound of Spaghetti
Comments

This pasta review is currently under construction. Sorry for the delay, I promise it will be worth the wait.

Two Cows

Two Cows
Cavatappi garishly smeared with Asiago Garlic Alfredo, enhanced with a veritable bevy of Meatballs
Comments

Two cows are standing in a field (of cavatappi). One says to the other, "Hey, you worried about that Mad Cow Disease going around?"

The other one scoffs. "Why should I be? I'm a squirrel."

9/50

9/50
Marinara intriguingly tossed on a ball the size of a chihuahua's head of Spaghetti
Comments

This pasta review is currently under construction. Sorry for the delay, I promise it will be worth the wait.

Shrimpy Night

Shrimpy Night
Spaghetti incorporated with Shrimp Fritta, sauced with Creamy Mushroom
Comments

The cool color palette and burning spirals of shrimp in this dish immediately evoke the foxglove-hazed world of Van Gogh's most beloved by college freshmen painting, The Starry Night. And if you don't see it, you're the uncultured one.

8/50

8/50
Spaghetti intriguingly replete with Marinara
Comments

This pasta review is currently under construction. Sorry for the delay, I promise it will be worth the wait.

Event Horizon

Event Horizon
Rigatoni saturated in Five Cheese Marinara
Comments

Imagine a ring of cheese so dense, so packed with cholesterol, that light cannot escape its gooey center. What appears to be a normal pasta transcends into a physical phenomena beyond science's ability to explain. Also, it comes with soup.

7/50

7/50
Spaghetti showered in Marinara
Comments

This pasta review is currently under construction. Sorry for the delay, I promise it will be worth the wait.

6/50

6/50
Marinara accompanied by Spaghetti
Comments

This pasta review is currently under construction. Sorry for the delay, I promise it will be worth the wait.

Hoplite

Hoplite
Five Cheese Marinara intriguingly blended with Fettuccine
Comments

A white shield, emblazoned with a fiery orange sun. The points of a four-pronged triden gleam in the light, ready to strike. Ready your dinner and eat hearty!

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