The Pastas

Nope, That's How It's Supposed To Taste, I Guess

Nope, That's How It's Supposed To Taste, I Guess
Meatballs skillfully united at last with Chicken Pomodoro, sheltered within a pile of Rigatoni
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So we're two for two on these meatballs being very, very off. We're also two for two on them not causing, at the least, *immediate* death. Will keep you all posted.

Pictured here is Nope, That's How It's Supposed To Taste, I Guess - huh.

Audible Moo

Audible Moo
Chicken Pomodoro resplendently hidden in a hill of Tri Colored Vegetable Penne, garnished lavishly with Meatballs
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I'm not sure if the cows here in California are just more chill or fed on organic grass or something, but this meatball tasted notably different from the 60+ ones I ate last year. It was either very fresh or, more likely, dangerously undercooked. I guess I'll find out tomorrow, when I'm either dead or not dead. Wish me luck!

Pictured here is Audible Moo - 'course I heard of cows, there's a bunch of 'em right over there!

Betwixt

Betwixt
Rigatoni uniquely sauced with Pesto Alfredo
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In honor of my 25th day, I looked up synonyms for "halfway" in the thesaurus, and found this word, which is a lot of fun. This pasta is also super delicious, even without a topping. Pesto alfredo is so pretty ^_^

Pictured here is Betwixt - 24 more days to go.

Cordon Bleu

Cordon Bleu
Mezzaluna Ravioli woven into Chicken Meatballs, coated in Chicken Pomodoro
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It's funny that such these staples of American-style cooking - meat, cheese, and just enough refined carbs to turn a meal into intestinal library paste - come together in an Italian-style dish with a French-style name. It's also delicious.

Pictured here is Cordon Bleu - ooh la la~

Pollo Loco

Pollo Loco
Chicken Pomodoro covered in Chicken Meatballs, nestled within a bundle of Tri Colored Vegetable Penne
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Chicken on chicken?! It's a madhouse! Tricolored penne rounds out this dish and keeps it from being too heavy.

Pictured here is Pollo Loco - ole!

Stagnant Pond

Stagnant Pond
Pesto Alfredo tastefully sheltered within a blanket of Mezzaluna Ravioli
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After enough time sitting out, the different specific densities of the ingredients which make up pesto alfredo sauce cause it to naturally split into its component elements. Oil pools on top of alfredo, alfredo slides uselessly off of the slick ravioli. It's simply a poorly thought out combination.

Pictured here is Stagnant Pond - I know it's not an attractive name, but it's not an attractive dish.

Gumby

Gumby
Chicken Meatballs ensconced by a baseless basin of Rigatoni, swimming in Chicken Pomodoro
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Don't get me wrong, I love the chicken meatball topping. It tastes good and it has a fine calorie:protein:sodium ratio. That said, it is extremely obvious that they are frozen food and look like clay balls.

Pictured here is Gumby - if you've got a heart, then Chicken Meatball's a part of you!

Rice A Roni

Rice A Roni
Pesto Alfredo garishly put upon a mound of Gluten Free Rotini
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It felt important that I get the most San Francisco thing I could imagine, so I got a meatless, gluten-free dish that cost too much money. Maybe we can chalk this up to the city's love of wacky alternative fusion cuisine, but this looked and tasted absolutely horrible. It was like the chefs were punishing me for not going to a local indie flash-fired cupcake stand instead of the chain restaurant they were forced to work at until Google bought their startup companies.

Pictured here is Rice A Roni - lmao at that giant dollop of pesto, though.

Trypophobia

Trypophobia
Rigatoni drenched in Asiago Garlic Alfredo
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Does this pasta make you uneasy? If so, and it's not just because you don't like garlic, you may have Typophobia, a fear of irregularly-patterned holes. Why Olive Garden decided to include such an obviously triggering dish in their menu is anyone's guess, but I think a tastefully done Tumblr campaign against them might be just the wake-up call they need to be more sensitive to the differently abled.

Pictured here is Trypophobia - eurgh.

Raviocean

Raviocean
Mezzaluna Ravioli garishly smothered in Asiago Garlic Alfredo
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Please follow this guided meditation...
Close your eyes. Breathe deeply. You are floating above an endless sea of alfredo sauce. It is warm, it is inviting. Ravioli peeks up here and there, but as far as you can see is nothing but alfredo. You slowly begin to descend into this infinite pool. The tip of your nose lightly kisses the surface of the sauce, and you continue to sink. You feel the sauce touch, and soon cover, your face, your chest, your legs. Soon you are entirely submerged. You are never going to escape. You do not wish to. This is where you belong. This is home.

Pictured here is Raviocean - I guess what I'm trying to get at here is that they went a little heavy on the sauce.

How Much More Real Italian Can You Get?!

How Much More Real Italian Can You Get?!
Pesto Alfredo excellently put upon a fistful of Tri Colored Vegetable Penne
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I mean, look at this thing! It's basically an Italian flag on a plate! (DISCLAIMER: I am an American, and thus have never actually seen an Italian flag).

AND It was served to me by a guy with dark hair who didn't speak great English and who probably resented me at least a little! Mama mia, people, if this isn't Italy, I don't want to know what is.

Pictured here is How Much More Real Italian Can You Get?!, and I mean, c'monnnnn!

Ariel's Feast

Ariel's Feast
Shrimp Fritta smeared with Asiago Garlic Alfredo, hybridized with Rigatoni
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Look at this meal, treasures untold
How many fritta can one pasta hold?
Looking around here you'd think -
Sure, she's got everything

Pictured here is Ariel's Feast, and you're just deluding yourself if you think she, as queen of the sea, didn't ritualistically eat her subjects from time to time.

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