Pasta Perfection

Day -12


Hey, pasta fans!

If you're reading this, you're likely a fan of the quest I completed last year. I'd like to do something similar again with this year's pass, but with a fun new gimmick (more on that later). Unfortunately, the Pastas That Be did not see fit to ordain me thus.

That's where you come in! Today only the OG is running a contest where they will give a pass to the person who is most deserving, by community vote. It would truly mean the world to me if you could take a bit of your day and write me in. Just refer to me as "Vino, from the blog " and explain why you believe I'd make the best use out of the pass.

The best part? If your entry is the one that wins me a pass, you get a pass of your very own!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's make some magic happen, people. And by magic, I mean empty carbs.

Click HERE to enter!

Please share this around on social media, if you know anyone else who would be helpful

Day -17: Dawn Of A New Era


Hello again, pasta pals. It's good to talk to you again after all this time. I'm sure you have questions; here, briefly, are a few answers.

-Yes, I have heard

-No, I don't have one yet. There was a bit of a mixup where I was not informed of its availability. I am certain this is a minor oversight and will be corrected shortly.


Stay tuned...

Day 48


It seems like just yesterday I began the journey of a thousand noodles, and now that only a single bowl remains, my wandering into Olive Garden seemed aimless, distracted. As I sat down at my table, a nameless waitress approached me, fear obvious in her eyes.

"Sir, I -"
"Please," I interrupted. "I've been here for 7 weeks now. You can call me Vino."
", I-"
"No, no, actually, go back to sir."
"Sir. I don't know how to say this. Um." She paused, took a deep breath. "We are out of pasta. ate it all. We can bring you something, but they'll be a little different. Substitutions. Please forgive us."

Lunch was skipped.

Dinner was composed of three plates of pasta:

Grande-Sized Number Six Combo With Diet Coke

I felt a sense of emptiness. This wasn't right. It was delicious, but it wasn't what I needed: the final bowl. The culmination of everything I'd been building the past seven weeks.


A special thanks to my dining companion, Vinegar!

Day 47


In the hustle and bustle of my fast-paced pasta-scarfing existence, it's easy to forget the most important thing: family.

Now, I don't have a "traditional" family*. But I do have the staff at the Olive Garden. If the OG's advertising campaign from the 90's can be trusted (and if not, can anything be?) they're more family to me than anyone else.

So, this blog is a shoutout to the servers, the bartenders, the managers, the door-holder-openers, all of you guys! You've made the past seven weeks much more fun than they should have been. I hope you find today's pastas as cheesy as this blog.

Lunch was Icarus.

Dinner was composed of two plates of pasta:

Brie House
A Queso The Mondays

*When I was twelve, my parents were both crushed to death during a routine tour of an Olive Garden shipping facility by an unsecured crate of Italian sausages. On that day I swore that I would get vengeance by eating every last one, as soon as it was economically feasible. The day the Pasta Pass was announced was the beginning of my new life.

A special thanks to my dining companion, Vino!

Day 46


Lunch was Alan.

Dinner was composed of three plates of pasta:


On a serious note, I do enjoy perusing other people's pasta perils. I wish them all the best!

A special thanks to my dining companion, nobody!

Day 45


Snow swirls around Nick and me as we wait outside for our table to be prepared. He stands patiently in front of the glowing Olive Garden sign, and with some hesitation, tells me that I have been acting strangely. He would know as well as anyone, I guess - he's been with me since day one. I ask him to clarify, and take another few pictures.

"I don't know. It just seems like you've changed."
"Are you telling me I got fat?"
"Well, not just that. You're different."

I don't press him further. We all knew how it would end from the moment I first told the family that I was going to eat all the pasta. Still, it's strange to think it's already happening.

Lunch was Spring.

Dinner was composed of three plates of pasta:


Four days left. Then what?

A special thanks to my dining companion, Nick!

Day 44


Angelhair pasta is the most challenging pasta in the oeuvre of the Neverending Pasta Bowl. It breaks easily, it doesn't hold sauce well, and it's more dense than a Gawker writer on Jupiter. Eating a bowl of an angelhair is akin to consuming a loaf of wet white bread.

So you can understand why I wanted to get them out of the way. Eating three in a row was probably a bad idea, but now I can go the rest of my life without ever touching this black hole of carbs again.

Lunch was skipped.

Dinner was composed of three plates of pasta:


NOTE:I'm doing a Reddit AMA (Ask Me Anything) tomorrow at 8pm eastern time, so if you have a question, feel free to post it there! I'll link it here on the blog and on Twitter when it's up.

A special thanks to my dining companion, the three pounds of pasta stubbornly resisting my futile attempts at digestion!

Day 43


Today my highly-trained team of computer crackers, mainframe hackers, proxy smackers, and CPU jackers finally broke through the
armies of spambots that were waiting at the gates of our comment section. Apparently, All Of Garden was the number one site in Japan
for both pop-culture-based reviews of pasta AND knockoff designer handbags.

In celebration of this victory, I'm dedicating today's blog to our spammer friends, who I assume are every bit as pale and saucy as these pastas!

Lunch was Bulgari ashtray sale.

Dinner was composed of three plates of pasta:

Disney collaboration Takashimaya Kashiwa dress
Ladies clothing Moncler down super copy Men's clothing shopping site
owl monster

What a way to start my last week! Please feel free to celebrate by making a comment in the comments section, unless you're a spammer, in which case, please just go away!!!!!

A special thanks to my dining companion, just me!

Day 42


Never been a huge fan of alfredo sauce. Something about scooping up a spoonful of butter, cream, and cheese directly into my mouth makes my stomach ache after the third consecutive bowl. Some people might scoff at that, and make some ridiculous suggestion about portion sizes. These people are quitters, and have probably never had to work under a deadline.

Today's pastas all fall under that calor-ffic umbrella. Warning - you may gain a pound or two just by reading the names!

Lunch was skipped.

Dinner was composed of three plates of pasta:

Bites In White Satin
The White Shrimp of Dover
Dirty White Bambino

Seven days left! :O

A special thanks to my dining companion, all alone~!

Pasta Combination Selector