Holy wars have been fought over marriages more simple than that of spicy three-meat sauce and shrimp, yet the debate rages on. The old saying, that one must prepare for war to ensure peace, holds just as true in the realm of pasta as it does in politics.

Pictured here is Crusade, which is so good even Children would fight for it!

Defined as a "world-shattering event" or "unforgivable pandering to casuals", depending on which Wiki you're reading. Frankly, this pasta could go either way.

Never has a pasta been so unbelievably kawaii, while maintaining a distinctly tsundere tinge to its moe roots. Sugoi... ^_^

Pictured here is Anime Panda - just as keikaku*.

*Note: keikaku means pasta

Bullets scream overhead as you cower in your trench, the sound of the Gatling guns deafening the shouts of your commanding officer. Inches away, you watch as a man you shared a cigarette with that morning bleeds out in front of you, his glassy eyes staring at an unfixed point in the distance. Wordlessly, he mouths something, but your focus is torn away when you notice the gas cloud rolling into the trench. You scramble for your gas mask, far too late to make a difference. The scent of marinara sauce fills your lungs, chokes your throat, burns your eyes.

Pictured here is July 28, 1914 - Pasta is hell.

It wasn't safe to come out of the shelter until noon the next day. When the Americans and their guards did come out, the sky was black with smoke, The sun was an angry little pinhead. Dresden was like the moon now, nothing but roasted mushrooms. The sauce was hot. Everybody else in the neighborhood was dead.
So it goes...

Pictured here is September 1, 1939 - Pasta is sweet to those who know it not.

The President hesitates somewhat before answering the question. He thinks about the paper that was just signed, what it means to him, to his country, and to the world. And he wonders, deep down, whether the future will remember what he's done here today. He hopes so. Anyone can start a Kosovo, a Panama, or a Bosnia. A true leader, however, can alter the course of history forever. Looking up from his plate of spicy three meat pasta, he clears his throat.
"Because this time, it will be different."

Pictured here is August 23, 2018 - Pasta is terrorism, magnified a hundred times.

In small quantities, alfredo sauce is simply decadent, assuming you like cream and butter and cheese (and if you don't, get off my blog right now). This dish is so named because of the rustic wholesomeness of its presentation, which reminds me of my home planet.

Pictured here is Earth, which as planets go, is definitely in my top five.

I know I've ranted about "Spicy" three meat sauce before, but there's really no spice to it at all. I've discussed this with a manager, who confirmed my suspicion that it is nearly identical in composition to the plain meat sauce. When I'm hired as a highly-paid and respected Olive Garden consultant, my ideas for this sauce will be on the top of the list.

Pictured here is Fire, and yes, the name is a 'joke'.