Just as Daryl Hall's rich tenor is perfectly accompanied by John Oates' smooth backing vocals on a solid foundation of rock-soul grooves, this dish is tightly balanced between two stars, either of whom would be a laughingstock if they ever did attempt to Go Solo. And with Chicken Fritta topping only an additional $3.49, you don't have to be a Rich Girl to appreciate this one!

Pictured here is Hall & Oates, Making My Dreams Come True.

The replacement of spaghetti with angelhair makes Simon & Garfunkel appear to be a lighter, folksier Hall & Oates - to the untrained eye. But much like their eponymous artists, careful study of Simon & Garfunkel will reveal a certain density and complexity unmatched by Hall & Oates. While both are enjoyable in their own way, this dish rewards the observant consumer with a richness that simply can't be found elsewhere.

Pictured here is Simon & Garfunkel. Slow down - you eat too fast!

Whereas our previous two dishes today are defined by an equal balance between two forces, David & Goliath, as you may have guessed, is a story of an underdog's triumph despite an insurmountable foe. The subtle taste of roasted mushroom should really be no match for the almost grotesque sphere of meat mercilessly crushing the penne below it. Yet somehow, delicacy conquers brutality, beauty conquers vulgarity, and love, as always, conquers all.

Pictured here is David & Goliath. Look at the size of that meatball - you could easily sling a giant to death with it!

I mean, it's pretty much exactly what it says on the tin, mate.

Pictured here is Spaghetti & An Entire Sausage. What?

Some foods seem to be designed exclusively for consumption during an inebriated state: frozen pizza, poutine, the entirety of the Taco Bell menu. I would like to suggest that society adds "anything with 5 Cheese Marinara" to that list.

Pictured here is Night On The Town, though I don't know how many people typically get wasted and say "let's hit up that OG, SON! WOOOOOO!"

Something about fried chicken mixed with orange cheese goo brings to mind the ubiquitious roller grill stationed in every mid-size gas station. Most usually feature a nacho "cheese" dispenser that is used to cover any product that isn't palatable alone (all of them).

Pictured here is Gas Station Special, 2 for $2, or 1 for $1.69.

Shrimp Fritta always remind me of the Futurama episode where the crew discovers a planet full of delicious, crunchy snacks that turn out to be the larval form of a hideous alien race. This dish is tasty, right? I call it Tasticles.

Pictured here is Tasticles, and it is indeed genocidally tasty.

God knows why, but sometimes, if you're very lucky, an asian buffet will contain some non-asian food. The asian take on international food is usually strange and always improperly seasoned. I guess I can't blame them - I wouldn't have the slightest clue as to how much Shaoxing wine one should add to General Tso's Chicken - but Olive Garden really has no excuse for what they served me today.

Pictured here is Asian Buffet, and seriously, tell me that's not plain tomato sauce.

Some relationships are doomed from the start, much like the relationship between Shrimp and Roasted Mushrooms. Perhaps these star-crossed ingredients were never meant to marry, but the tragedy of never having tried is greater than that of failure. For a brave, ill-fated tryst that could never have worked but dared anyway, I have no choice but to award five stars.

Pictured here is Juliet - what light through yonder fritta breaks?

Madness is the greatest terror of the civilized mind, and the rotting away of our sensibility is assured if we live long enough to see it happen. Yet only madness can explain the existence of this dish; breaded chicken simply cannot be well-paired with a non-tomato-based sauce.

Pictured here is Ophelia - and you can see on the right that there is a chicken fritta grows aslant the bowl.