Though the efforts of poet laureate Meghan Trainor have boosted its popularity, the bass remains the unsung hero of the song. Only actively noticed by music afficiandos and bassists, bass parts play an important, but subtle, supportive role - the bowl in which the pasta is served. If you doubt the necessity of this part, consider how enjoyable your pasta would be if you had to lick it off the countertop!

Pictured here is Bass, which I am all about, and you should be too!

What first grabs your eye about this dish? If you're like most people, it will be the perfectly arranged and beautifully presented shrimp fritta, the focal point and star of the show. Though the pasta itself and the sauce are delicious, the shrimp is what you'll be humming for the next few days. It is appropriate that a marine source of protein should be the "hook" for our pasta!

Pictured here is Lead, and this shrimp solo is friggin' sick, dude.

The rhythm part typically plays supporting chords to "fill out" the song and provide the framework of its progression. In many ways, this is analagous to the actual pasta in the dish. One doesn't typically gush over the taste of the spaghetti underneath the meatball, but to leave it out of the dish is unthinkable.

Pictured here is Rhythm, backin' it up.

Obviously, percussion is the equivalent of the sauce - and if you don't think percussion can be saucy, you haven't hear the playful, fun riffs of Keith Moon! Try eating this dish while listening to Tommy. It'll blow your mind, man. Also, much like Keith Moon, sauce overdoses easily, so watch your proportions.

Pictured here is Percussion, oh, and also, uh, Neil Peart.

What?

Oh, I get it. This is a test. You're just seeing how I'd react if you really would do that. Not that you ever would. You couldn't. Not to me. Haha, well, sorry to burst your bubble, but maybe next time try being a little less transparent. Sure, you're upset, but there's no reason to be manipulative like this.

Pictured here is Denial.

You're not being rational right now, and if you're going to keep letting your emotions make the decisions, you'll never really be happy. That's always been your problem. You're always 'feeling' instead of thinking. "I feel like you don't really care about me", "I feel like you're not listening", "I feel like we've drifted apart".

What does any of that even mean? Why can't you just talk like an adult?

Pictured here is Anger.

Hey, okay, you know what? You made some great points. You're totally right, and I really, truly understand you. More than I ever did. In a way, I'm glad we had this talk, so we can really work things out. So starting tomorrow, I'll do whatever it takes. Just tell me what I need to do. Anything. Please.

Pictured here is Bargaining.

Hey, you didn't respond to the last few letters, so I thought I'd just write one more. I know you're probably super busy now, so I don't want to take up too much of your time. Just hit me back with a quick response when you get a moment. It doesn't have to be a long letter like mine always are, just an email or something, just to let me know you're reading these, that'd really make my week.

To be honest, it's been a pretty bad week. But I guess that's not really your problem. Sorry, haha. Looks like I'm "bringing you down" again. But hey, like I said, you can email me whenever, or call me any time at all, I keep my phone right by my pillow just in case you need to talk. So don't worry about it. Talk to you soon?

Pictured here is Depression.

We're both dating new people now. I mean, obviously. It's been more than two years! Of course we moved on. I haven't gotten a chance to meet your boyfriend yet, but I've seen some of his posts on your wall and it seems like he likes you a lot, which is great. I like my girlfriend, too. Nothing really to complain about. She likes horror movies and classical music like you do, and flips her hair sometimes, but she doesn't do that single eyebrow raise thing when people say something stupid, and her laugh is all wrong.

If I got hit by a bus or something right now, that'd be okay with me. I feel like the rest of my life is just gonna be going through the motions, and I've already experienced everything I want to experience. I wish things had turned out differently, but this is fine. I'm fine.

Pictured here is Acceptance.

You did it again. How could you? After all we've given you...no. No, we're not angry. Just disappointed.

Pictured here is Shame.

It's too hard for you. Too complicated. Too heavy. You'll never be able to do it yourself.

Pictured here is Weakness.

You can't do anything right. Why even bother?

Pictured here is Futility.