Gilgamesh

"Instead of your bringing on the Flood,
would that a lion had appeared to diminish the people!
Instead of your bringing on the Flood,
would that a wolf had appeared to diminish the people!
Instead of your bringing on the Flood,
would that famine had occurred to slay the land!
Instead of your bringing on the Flood,
would that (Pestilent) Erra had appeared to ravage the land!"
-A scene from the epic of Gilgamesh, in which the world's most overdramatic customer returns his extremely over-sauced pasta.

Pictured here is Gilgamesh - and personally, I'd rather a wolf diminish my people than ever eat another bite.