Dates 32-40: A Partial List of My Crimes Against This Relationship


If you take the long view, 0% of my relationships have worked out successfully. Maybe I'm unlucky, but odds are better that dating me can be charitably described as a subtle art. And fast on the way to becoming a lost art, given that I hadn't been in a committed relationship since 2013. Some examples of things Lu has endured through from the past few months:

  • Took her to Taco Bell for our first road trip, christmas, and new years
  • Made her go to Chess! The Musical! and then made her walk out
  • Regularly said, out loud, "OwO what's this?" (rhymes with "oh no")
  • Didn't check my blind spot when changing lanes, cutting off the guy behind me and almost causing a three car pileup on the highway. After the tire screeches and horns died down, Lu gave me a "wtf was that" sort of look. "Man," I said, lost for words, "I fuckin' owned that guy."
  • Initially added her to my phone as 'Lu Le Reddit XD' and didn't change it until we had been dating for two months
  • Referred to cashiers as 'my good shopkeep'

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