What is this?

Veni

Veni
Marinara garnished lavishly with Chicken Fritta, merged with Angel Hair
Comments

Marinara seems to be the least consistent sauce at the OG. Some days it's plain tomato sauce (and I will not be convinced otherwise) and some days it's the perfect compliment to a breaded meat. That said, I would never attempt this sauce without a topping. It's just too subtle - this sauce is an accent, not a main attraction.

Pictured here is Veni!

Vidi

Vidi
Spicy Three Meat Sauce pumped chock-full of Meatballs, thought-provokingly ensconced by a deep dish of Cavatappi
Comments

This was a little bizarre. For the first time, my meatballs came on a separate tray, and were not incorporated into the dish. I have a rule that I take pictures as they are served to me - I don't dress them up, I don't photoshop anything, I don't send back food that looks bad. I want the pictures to be an accurate representation of what a customer can expect.

But "some assembly required" isn't what you can expect at Olive Garden. This was a weird fluke. So I put the meatballs on myself and snapped this picture. I hope you can forgive that I have gone mad with power.

Pictured here is Vidi - straight ballin'.

Vici

Vici
Five Cheese Marinara fused with Chicken Fritta, replete with Penne
Comments

I think the trick to photographing Five Cheese Marinara is to not get too much of it in one shot. If you had, say, a forkful of penne just barely glossed with 5CM, I think that could look pretty good. Unfortunately, while the sauce does *taste* good, it definitely has a tendency to look like...well, any number of unpleasant comparisons spring to mind.

Pictured here is Vici, which utilizes an angle shot that would put any chubby myspace dude to shame.

Day 20

Comments

I've been pretty sick lately (a cold, not pasta-related) so I haven't been eating much and I don't really feel up to writing something actually funny, but the show must go on! I hope you all are having a very nice day and are eating well.

Lunch was skipped.

Dinner was composed of three plates of pasta:

Charlotte
Emily
Anne

See you tomorrow.

A special thanks to my dining companion, Faye!

Charlotte

Charlotte
Meatballs tossed with Five Cheese Marinara, crossbred with Spaghetti
Comments

"I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself."

A lot of parallels can be drawn between a strong, independent woman and a meatball alighting a plateau of spaghetti.

Pictured here is Charlotte, a pasta who don't need no man.

Anne

Anne
Cavatappi studded with Italian Sausage, coated in Marinara
Comments

"Beauty is that quality which, next to money, is generally the most attractive to the worst kinds of men; and, therefore, it is likely to entail a great deal of trouble on the possessor."

If this is as true for pasta as it is true for women, this dish can rest easy knowing that it will not be attracting any unsavory types.

Pictured here is Anne, with classic Victorian sensibility.

Emily

Emily
Fettuccine drizzled with Alfredo, excellently fused with Meatballs
Comments

"There is not room for Death,
Nor atom that his might could render void:
Thou — Thou art Being and Breath,
And what Thou art may never be destroyed."

A metaphor for the importance of roughage in an otherwise all-pasta diet.

Pictured here is Emily, so demure!

Day 19

Comments

As word of the blog spreads, it's getting more and more difficult to find dining companions.

This is the opposite of the effect I anticipated. I mean, I don't know about you guys, but I would *love* the chance to eat with a z-list internet celebrity. He even pays for your coke product, and empowers you by letting you purchase your own entree - a real modern gentleman.

Lunch was Welsh Rabbit.

Dinner was composed of three plates of pasta:

Jessica Rabbit
Rare Bit
Rabbi T

Hopefully, I'll be able to snag some less media-savvy dates in the coming weeks.

A special thanks to my dining companion, Katherine!

Welsh Rabbit

Welsh Rabbit
Chicken Fritta garishly showered in Five Cheese Marinara, swaddled in a blanket of Cavatappi
Comments

As is so often the case, what started out as a good-natured ethnic slur turned into a beloved cuisine. Welsh Rabbit is a dish that is little more than carbs and cheese - and so we find that the more things change, the more things stay filled with cholesterol.

Pictured here is Welsh Rabbit, and please just ignore the chicken because that doesn't really jive with this whole concept.

Jessica Rabbit

Jessica Rabbit
Fettuccine merged with Meatballs, coated in Meat Sauce
Comments

Oh come on, don't tell me you don't see it. It can't just be me.

Pictured here is Jessica Rabbit. Eh? Ehhh?

Rare Bit

Rare Bit
Cavatappi drenched in Roasted Mushroom Alfredo, impressively joined with Shrimp Fritta
Comments

You know how when you get a can of pork and beans and there's just the one little hunk of pork? That's the "rare bit", though this term can apply to any choice morsel in a dish. The more you know!

Pictured here is Rare Bit - in this case, referring to the whole mushroom chunks.

Rabbi T

Rabbi T
Shrimp Fritta settled on a blanket of Whole Wheat Linguine, saturated in Marinara
Comments

One of my fondest memories of growing up as a young Jewish boy was the time when Rabbi Thadstein, attempting to gain "street cred" with the local teens, adopted this self-appointed nickname. While it never took off, I'm pleased to immortalize it in this dish, which I believe does technically count as kosher, since it's not very good.

Pictured here is Rabbi T, and this was a really bad idea for a theme day, and didn't make any sense. Sorry.

Pasta Combination Selector