love

love
Meatballs wrapped in a bottomless bowl of Spaghetti, drenched in Alfredo
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-twirl the longness of spaghetti
smile dustily to the people,
for dinners
who crookedly care.

pictured here is love

rain

rain
Spicy Three Meat Sauce mixed with Italian Sausage, ensconced by a fistful of Angel Hair
Comments

there is the sweet shy pirouette
your angelhair
and then

your italian
sausage.

pictured here is rain

death

death
Penne united at last with Spicy Three Meat Sauce
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if i believe
in death be sure
of this
it is

because i have tried this pasta

pictured here is death

Day 15

Comments

I've been getting a lot of questions asked via inquiring fans - some of these questions have been asked with some frequency. Thus, the following:

**Frequently Asked Questions:**

Q: How did you get pasta pass? How do I get pasta pass?

A: The pasta pass was given out as a promotional item to the first 1,000 people to find the buried treasure (a single golden olive) of Horace Garden, founder of the Olive Garden empire. Since there was only one treasure, it was very easy to find after the first guy just left it sitting at the Home Depot.

Q: Why is every Pasta Pass holder a white guy in his mid thirties with a half-built shed in his back yard?

A: See above.

Q: On a scale of none to all, how much of the pasta?

A: [not dignified with response]

Q: Fat????

A: Maybe!!!

Q: Are you actually depressed, or is that just the pasta talking?

A: Can't it be both? But seriously, this is a known effect of long-term exposure to high levels of pasta. It is commonly referred to by any number of clever monikers; see today's pasta names for a partial list.

Lunch was Sadghetti.

Dinner was composed of three plates of pasta:

Mario's Malaise
Curse of Carbs
Linguennui

Keep those comments, tweets, and emails coming, people! I don't have time to respond to them all, but I read every single one~

A special thanks to my dining companion, Nick, who has been the shining beacon of every new week for three weeks running!

Sadghetti

Sadghetti
Roasted Mushroom Alfredo sheltered within a heap of Spaghetti
Comments

Spaghetti is nearly impossible to say without a childlike smile crossing your face, which is what makes the nature of this dish's oppressive depressive so impressive. There's very few sauces that don't work with this noodle, but this one found a way to do it. And with no toppings to distract you, you can really focus on how much it doesn't work.

Pictured here is Sadghetti, the most morose morsel.

Mario's Malaise

Mario's Malaise
Alfredo united at last with Angel Hair, accentuated with a generous portion of Italian Sausage
Comments

Named for its discoverer, Jonathan Malaise, this dish proves that great tastes can, indeed, taste bad together.

Pictured here is Mario's Malaise, not that it stopped me from eating it.

Curse of Carbs

Curse of Carbs
Cavatappi pleasantly glazed with Roasted Mushroom Alfredo, enhanced with a veritable bevy of Italian Sausage
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"May you live in Bavettine times" -Italian Curse

Pictured here is the Curse of Carbs - you may feel a slight 'bewitching' sensation.

Linguennui

Linguennui
Whole Wheat Linguine accompanied by Meat Sauce, nigh-erotically mixed with Shrimp Fritta
Comments

I dunno, sometimes linguine just...doesn't...I mean...

eh...

Pictured here is Linguennui - it's not bad or anything, but why bother?

Day 14

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The journey of a thousand noodles begins with a single bowl, and I've now eaten roughly 286 of those noodles. Some observations from the past week:

-Still no appreciable change in weight, energy levels, or any other vague metric of 'health'
-Still cannot resist a breadstick placed within snatching distance
-Still cries at a good film
-Have had dreams in which I accidentally ate food from somewhere other than the Olive Garden and I had to induce vomiting to maintain the integrity of the challenge
-As of today, all 36 pasta+sauce combination has been tried. They were all delicious! You should try some. Why not go to the Olive Garden tomorrow? You could even go with me! I mean, if you don't have anything else going on, I'm just sayin', I'll be at Olive Garden. You don't, like, have to come or anything.

Please come. I'm so alone.

Lunch was Cannonball.

Dinner was composed of three plates of pasta:

Pier on an Orange Lake
"Healthy" Choice
Rime of the Ancient Marinara

Thus ends week two of seven. I've got a long way to go.

A special thanks to my dining companion, the blank stare of my own twisted reflection in a pool of five cheese marinara!

Cannonball

Cannonball
Meatballs flawlessly nestled within a bunch of Angel Hair, joined with Five Cheese Marinara
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This pasta is, in a word, dense. Thin strands of angelhair weave themselves into a thick mesh, inexorably trapping the pure cheese goo of the Five Cheese Marinara sauce, along with the heavy meatballs. Though tasty, this dish will definitely impregnate you with a food-baby, and I will warn you up front that it will likely be a preemie.

Pictured here is Cannonball, in all its stick-to-your-ribs goodness.

Pier on an Orange Lake

Pier on an Orange Lake
Spaghetti expertly kissed with Five Cheese Marinara, richly enhanced with a veritable bevy of Chicken Fritta
Comments

Sometimes coming up with titles for dishes is more fun than eating them. Perhaps it's not a coincidence that this is happening more and more as I get farther into the challenge.

Pictured here is Pier on an Orange Lake, the very picture of modern Romanticism.

"Healthy" Choice

"Healthy" Choice
Whole Wheat Linguine incorporated with Marinara, covered in Meatballs
Comments

For those of you who measure the "healthy-ness" of a dish by buzzwords associated with it - organic, gluten-free, whole wheat, low-fat, etc - this dish is about the best you can do at Olive Garden. Marinara is the closest to a vegetable you can get in the Neverending Pasta Bowl, as it's little more than tomatoes and salt, and the linguine is probably good for you, somehow.

Pictured here is "Healthy" Choice - feel good about overeating!

Pasta Combination Selector