Mario's Malaise

Mario's Malaise
Italian Sausage accentuated with a generous portion of Alfredo, tucked away inside a ball the size of a chihuahua's head of Angel Hair
Comments

Named for its discoverer, Jonathan Malaise, this dish proves that great tastes can, indeed, taste bad together.

Curse of Carbs

Curse of Carbs
Italian Sausage showered in Roasted Mushroom Alfredo, sheltered within a fistful of Cavatappi
Comments

"May you live in Bavettine times" -Italian Curse

Linguennui

Linguennui
Whole Wheat Linguine topped with Shrimp Fritta, drizzled with Meat Sauce
Comments

I dunno, sometimes linguine just...doesn't...I mean...

eh...

Day 14

Comments

The journey of a thousand noodles begins with a single bowl, and I've now eaten roughly 286 of those noodles. Some observations from the past week:

-Still no appreciable change in weight, energy levels, or any other vague metric of 'health'
-Still cannot resist a breadstick placed within snatching distance
-Still cries at a good film
-Have had dreams in which I accidentally ate food from somewhere other than the Olive Garden and I had to induce vomiting to maintain the integrity of the challenge
-As of today, all 36 pasta+sauce combination has been tried. They were all delicious! You should try some. Why not go to the Olive Garden tomorrow? You could even go with me! I mean, if you don't have anything else going on, I'm just sayin', I'll be at Olive Garden. You don't, like, have to come or anything.

Please come. I'm so alone.

Lunch was Cannonball.

Dinner was composed of three plates of pasta:

Pier on an Orange Lake
"Healthy" Choice
Rime of the Ancient Marinara

Thus ends week two of seven. I've got a long way to go.

A special thanks to my dining companion, the blank stare of my own twisted reflection in a pool of five cheese marinara!

Pier on an Orange Lake

Pier on an Orange Lake
Spaghetti resplendently tossed with Five Cheese Marinara, intriguingly combined with Chicken Fritta
Comments

Sometimes coming up with titles for dishes is more fun than eating them.

"Healthy" Choice

"Healthy" Choice
Meatballs smeared with Marinara, settled on a lump of Whole Wheat Linguine
Comments

For those of you who measure the "healthy-ness" of a dish by buzzwords associated with it - organic, gluten-free, whole wheat, low-fat, etc - this dish is about the best you can do at Olive Garden.

Day 13

Comments

Between the blog, my job, and the actual consuming of pasta, I have very little leisure time. But weekends throw a wrench into this, and the amount of time I suddenly find myself with paralyzes me with anxiety, not freedom. I don't think "what can I do with my time", I think, "what should I do with my time"?

Sometime in college I developed a sense of guilt about doing anything 'pointless', like playing video games, reading fictional novels, browsing the internet, or so on. Note that I didn't stop doing these things; I just felt bad the whole time I did them, and awful when I saw it was time for bed. Had an entire day just slipped by, with nothing accomplished but a higher number above my gnome warlock's head?

Lunch was Noah

Dinner was compose of three plates of pasta:

Atrahasis
Gilgamesh
Nûḥ

Clearly, my guilt is even more useless than my hobbies, but I've yet to find a way to escape it.

A special thanks to my dining companion, Danny!

Noah

Noah
Five Cheese Marinara enhanced with a veritable bevy of Italian Sausage, skillfully incorporated with Whole Wheat Linguine
Comments

"The LORD saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time."
-The Bible, after God discovers this dish.

Atrahasis

Atrahasis
Spicy Three Meat Sauce nestled within a baseless basin of Cavatappi, blended with Chicken Fritta
Comments

"When the sixth year arrived
They served up a daughter for a meal,
Served up a son for food.

Gilgamesh

Gilgamesh
Penne glazed with Marinara
Comments

"Instead of your bringing on the Flood,
would that a lion had appeared to diminish the people!

Pasta Combination Selector