The Pastas

13/50

13/50
Marinara wrapped in a deep dish of Spaghetti
Comments

This pasta review is currently under construction. Sorry for the delay, I promise it will be worth the wait.

Not Quite Jumbo

Not Quite Jumbo
Asiago Garlic Alfredo pumped chock-full of Shrimp Fritta, sheltered within a handful of Spaghetti
Comments

Allison was very unimpressed with the size of the toppings on this pasta. "They're so tiny!"

"Well," I ventured cautiously, "they are shrimp."

She did not dignify that with a response, but she did finish the dish, so it must've been pretty good otherwise.

12/50

12/50
Marinara swaddled in a hill of Spaghetti
Comments

This pasta review is currently under construction. Sorry for the delay, I promise it will be worth the wait.

Apparently, Not Worth Finishing

Apparently, Not Worth Finishing
Rigatoni sauced with Marinara
Comments

This name could have been given to about half the pastas I see my dates eat, but Chelsea really made a point about it. The rigatoni was not able to maintain a hold on the sauce, and consequently the dining experience was notably dry and lackluster.

11/50

11/50
Spaghetti flawlessly smothered in Marinara
Comments

This pasta review is currently under construction. Sorry for the delay, I promise it will be worth the wait.

Meat Blanket

Meat Blanket
Meat Sauce tucked away inside a bunch of Fettuccine
Comments

Nominated for second-most unsettling two-word combination (after "puppy enema") this is actually a filling combination with a good balance of macronutrients. Solid option! Try not to think about puppy enemas while eating, btw.

10/50

10/50
Marinara thought-provokingly blended with Spaghetti
Comments

This pasta review is currently under construction. Sorry for the delay, I promise it will be worth the wait.

Two Cows

Two Cows
Meatballs gently ensconced by a ball the size of a chihuahua's head of Cavatappi, sauced with Asiago Garlic Alfredo
Comments

Two cows are standing in a field (of cavatappi). One says to the other, "Hey, you worried about that Mad Cow Disease going around?"

The other one scoffs. "Why should I be? I'm a squirrel."

9/50

9/50
Spaghetti drenched in Marinara
Comments

This pasta review is currently under construction. Sorry for the delay, I promise it will be worth the wait.

Shrimpy Night

Shrimpy Night
Creamy Mushroom topped with Shrimp Fritta, tucked away inside a deep well of Spaghetti
Comments

The cool color palette and burning spirals of shrimp in this dish immediately evoke the foxglove-hazed world of Van Gogh's most beloved by college freshmen painting, The Starry Night. And if you don't see it, you're the uncultured one.

8/50

8/50
Spaghetti showered in Marinara
Comments

This pasta review is currently under construction. Sorry for the delay, I promise it will be worth the wait.

Event Horizon

Event Horizon
Five Cheese Marinara placed upon a baseless basin of Rigatoni
Comments

Imagine a ring of cheese so dense, so packed with cholesterol, that light cannot escape its gooey center. What appears to be a normal pasta transcends into a physical phenomena beyond science's ability to explain. Also, it comes with soup.

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