What is this?

Dates 14-22: Making Kenny Loggins


"Is Kenny Loggins' head more thick or more...square?"
"Kenny Loggins has kind of a nintendo Mii default head."
"That's your answer for everything."

Exhibit 1. Kenny Loggins Fantasy. Lu. $320, Digital Media

Lu is on the couch, creating Kenny Loggins in Dark Souls 3 for her Etsy shop, Logginspiration. She drags a slider marked "Upper Cheekbone Lateral Rotation" 6 degrees to the left, rendering the face imperceptibly more Logginsesque.

"What else?"

We have long since passed the point in this activity where I can contribute. Even on my best days the Kenny Logginses I create are mistaken for an old version of the guy from Nickelback. The avatar on my TV does bear a striking resemblence to the 1970's dad rock icon, but that was true even 20 minutes ago when Lu began her fine tuning.

"Uh. I thought he had...shorter hair?"

Lu shakes her head. "That's 80's Kenny Loggins." There is a dry detachment in her voice. The cheesy King of Soundtracks
of the 80's is Lu's least favorite incarnation of the Loggins mythos. "We're doing Outside: From the Redwoods Kenny Loggins."

"Ah, you passed my test." I give her an approving nod. I think she buys it.

Exhibit 2. Kenny "Dark" Logginsouls. Lu. $220, Digital Media [JPG ONLY]

Or maybe she didn't hear me. She's already editing the RGB code for the skin tone, adjusting one digit at a time to hone in on optimal Kenny levels. I know from experience that this is the longest part of the whole process. My suggestion that she simply memorize the "correct" value and use it in all future Logginses was rejected due to the same color visualizing differently depending on rendering engines, lighting, and display technologies (OLED Kenny vs LCD Kenny is 'night and day').

Exhibit 3. Kenny's Krazy Dream. Lu. $480, Live Roleplay Session.

I settle in next to Lu on the couch and she tilts her head to the right so that it rests against mine. Her round eyes narrow, and her digital scalpel removes 1% of Kenny Loggins' body fat. Her features soften, the gentle lines of her face relax as she appreciates her latest masterpiece. The blanket wrapped around her and her contented expression give the impression of a small houecat. She breathes slowly out of her nose, and breaks her gaze away from the TV for the first time in half an hour.

Exhibit 4. Kenny Loggins Fantasy - Intellectual Property Rights. Lu. Contact for price, Notarized copy of IPR.

"Well. What do you think?"


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